It isn't Easy
“Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. ‘For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.’”
This verse doesn't mean what we often think it means. I used to think that Jesus meant that following Him would be easy, that being a Christian meant not struggling. It was hard to reconcile this verse with life experience.
Then, I read the verse in context. Jesus was referring to the burden of righteousness the Pharisees put on people. Jesus isn't saying life will be easy; He is saying you don't have to be perfect. Putting on a yoke (think of what an ox pulls with) with Jesus means He is the one pulling the weight. He is righteous for you. You don't have to earn your salvation. It's great news!
But, it doesn't mean life is easy.
The Apostles were beaten, murdered, and imprisoned. Christians were thrown to the lions. Jesus wasn't kidding when he said, "In this world you will have troubles." Trouble comes in the form of opposition, financial ruin, sickness, persecution, depression, spiritual and emotional turmoil, loss, heartache, and every other bad thing you can imagine. Don't believe the lie that following Jesus means having "your best life now." We follow a Savior who was crucified and hated. We shouldn't be surprised when we get the same treatment (John 15:18).
However, I've started to wonder if the most difficult struggles are emotional and spiritual. The hardest tribulations to overcome are the ones that never seem to end. It is one thing to endure ridicule for my faith and know that Jesus is honored. It is another thing to struggle with depression and loss for years on end, never seeing any hope to an end. I don't want to minimize any form of trial. My intention is to highlight a type of struggle that we don't seem to talk about enough: long-term trails.
Most Christians don't Understand
Usually, when a christian is going through something difficult other christians say things like, "Just hold on. This won't last forever." I've also heard, "Things always get worse before they get better" more times than I can remember.
But what happens when they don't get better. When your child is born mentally disabled, it is a life sentence. I have a friend with a severely disabled son. He isn't going to get better. The trial isn't going to end. He will need constant attention for the rest of his life. Statements like, "just hold on" give no hope to situations like that. Physical strain is compounded by fear in the form of questions like, "What if something happens to me?" or "What if I can't take care of him forever?"
The same kind of long-term suffering comes with emotional and mental illness. Christians think that depression is something to "bootstrap" your way out of. Sometimes people tell you to just have faith for God's healing. Others just dismiss you as weak. The trial doesn't end.
Sometimes in the midst of following Jesus, you find yourself beaten down by life. I'm not talking about just a bad day or a bad week, though that fits too. I'm talking about years of unending loss, stress, and trouble.
It feels like being caught in a storm at sea and being thrown against the rocks again and again. Before you have recovered from the last wave, you get hit with another and another for years.
Where is God? The question is inevitable. The situation is made worse when you can't feel God's presence. Truly, sometimes Jesus seems closest in the storm. Other times, He seems so far away, but you are afraid to acknowledge the feeling of His absence, because you fear what other Christians will say. You fear for yourself. You start to ask dark questions you never thought you would ask. You feel alone.
What happens in moments like these? What do you do when all seems lost?
You may have no idea what I'm talking about. That's ok. If you do know what I'm talking about, then know you are not alone.
Dark Night of the Soul
The Church Father's referred to this as "the Dark Night of the Soul." It is a period of trail where God seems absent. Sometimes it is accompanied by trails in life. Other times, the trial is simply feeling like Jesus isn't there. You pray for deliverance, but He doesn't seem to answer. You do all the things to connect with Him, but you feel nothing. It doesn't mean you are in sin. It doesn't mean you are less of a Christian.
I know you are tired of hearing everyone say Jesus is there, though He is. You are also probably weary of hearing people say that it won't last forever, though it wont.
When all else fails and you can't feel Jesus, keep trusting. Remember Truth about Him. God promised to never leave or forsake us (Deuteronomy 31:6). Either God is true or He is not. He promised to be faithful. Think on all the times He has been faithful. They may be hard to remember right now. The Enemy will tell you every one of those instances was coincidence. But, just as Jesus can always be trusted to tell the truth, Satan can always be trusted to deceive.
Think back to when you first met Jesus. He was answering prayers and His presence was something that transcended emotionalism. He was there. You met Him. He was personal and real. The very fact that you long for that connection is evidence that you tasted it once before.
All of this is to strip away everything, even your emotions, so that your very spirit waits alone in a Job-like state of faithfulness. Losing everything, all you can do is wait for the God that you no longer feel but thirst for with everything that is left of you.
This is where God has brought you, to this place where all you have is thirst for God.
It will last longer than you thought it ever would and take you to depths you didn't know existed.
At the end of it, Jesus will be there, and it will be worth it.
That is all.
“I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
